In exactly 8 days Aaron and I will be married for 2 years and together a total of 5 years! They say that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert on anything. Well by my calculations, 43,829 hours later, I should be an expert on all things David Aaron Strickland 4x’s over.
But. I’m not.
There are still days…
I say the wrong thing.
I do the wrong thing.
I don’t do the right thing.
What am I trying to get at? There is not one woman on this earth that can claim to be an expert wife and why is this?
Walt Whitman said it perfectly, “Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”
We. Are. Humans. AND WE CHANGE. I am not the same person I was November of 2008 when Aaron and I started dating each other. I am certainly not the same person I was in October of 2010 when Aaron proposed to me. I am not the same person Aaron married in November of 2011. I am not even the same person I was yesterday…or 5 minutes ago…or 5 seconds ago. Every second of every day I am changing.
That is the beauty of humanity. We change all the time. Sometimes change is for the best…sometimes change is for the worse.
This change is why couples wake up 30 years after their wedding day and realize they are sleeping with a stranger.
WHY DOES ANY OF THIS MATTER? WHY AM I WASTING MY TIME WRITING ABOUT THIS?
My motives are honestly selfish. As you get to know me, you will realize that I am I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T…do you know what I mean? I don’t want to be told what to do…I don’t even like to be given direction…I want to do things all on my own. And in case you haven’t noticed…we live in an age of experts.
An expert who can tell us what we should be eating, how we can lose weight, how we can look younger, how we can dress for our body types, how we can be the perfect Christian, how we can be the perfect wife, how we can be the perfect mother, how we can renovate a house on our own, how we can become a better version of ourselves in 48 hours. And while crafts such as tiling, roofing, painting, jewelry making, sewing, and car building can have experts……LIFE CANNOT! There is no expert on life. If someone claims the title EXPERT LIFE LIVER (not like the kind in your body)….RUN!!!! RUN WITH EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH YOU HAVE (which in my case is none since I believe that cardio is the Devil’s handiwork)!
You and I…we are beautiful, complex, intelligent, ever changing, ever growing AND so are our loved ones. I have been reminding myself of this lately. We can’t assume that we know everything about anyone…not even our better halves. We can’t claim to be experts on anyone person because we live in a world full of changing individuals. SO ACCEPT IT. AND STOP UNDERESTIMATING PEOPLE. Start reacquainting yourself with your best friends and family and learn to appreciate THE MULTITUDES each of contain.
My last piece of advice…stop judging those around you. The old saying is true…you have to walk in their shoes to understand what they are going through. Be a source of support rather than a source of judgment.